Nathaniel Branden’s book The Six Pillars of Self-Esteem is one of the pioneering pieces in the field of personal development. What distinguishes Branden’s ideas and pieces of advice from others focusing on self-esteem is that they’re all grounded on one concept: practicing what you preach. The only way to build better self-esteem, he believes, is not to remember glamorous words and recite them like a prayer, but to practice them consistently.
6 Pillars of Self-Esteem: The Practice of Living Consciously
Through this practice, you learn how to be completely present in each moment, either by yourself or with others, and savor it. This practice also teaches you to live mindfully and not go through life passively. To do that, you must actively try to learn more about the world and yourself and then set a plan. You cannot live the rest of their life simply going through the motions and expecting to end up living your dream life. You must put in a practical effort to prove that you deserve the life you want.
The Practice of Self-Acceptance
The second pillar in the 6 pillars of self-esteem is self-acceptance. Through this practice, you learn that deluding yourself does not serve you any good. In order to truly improve the aspects you believe are lacking in your life, you must accept that they’re lacking in the first place. You need to acknowledge your flaws and accept them, and only then, can you work on them. Being honest and open with yourself about your flaws will not leave the space for anyone else to make you feel insecure; you do not perceive their comments to be humiliating and you’re actively working toward building a better, healthier version of yourself.
The Practice of Self-Responsibility
The third pillar in the 6 pillars of self-esteem is self-responsibility. Through this practice, you learn the cruciality of holding yourself accountable. If you grow used to blaming all that doesn’t go right in your life on someone else, you will unconsciously build a belief that always portrays you as a victim.
Such a mindset does not allow you to move forward in your life, as you will never be able to identify your flaws or improve them. Certainly, not every mishap is your responsibility. If you approach such misfortunes with the mindset of “What can I do better to change the outcome next time?” instead of “It’s all someone else’s fault,” you already have better chances for potential success in the future.
The Practice of Self-Assertiveness
The fourth pillar in the 6 pillars of self-esteem is self-assertiveness. Through this practice, you learn that if you do not tell the world who you are, no one will bother to try and recognize you. You must learn how to value yourself: your needs, thoughts, feelings, and opinions. Not every person who will come across you will like you, and that’s completely normal, but they must respect you. Be vocal about your boundaries, and do not let people walk over you simply because you don’t want to make them uncomfortable. Don’t trade your peace of mind for theirs.
The Practice of Living Purposefully
The fifth pillar in the 6 pillars of self-esteem is living purposefully. Through this practice, you learn the importance of having goals. This ties back to the first pillar, living consciously. To lead a healthy and flourishing life, your eyes need to be set on certain prizes that you are constantly working hard to win.
If you only live randomly without any clear purpose in mind, the void will gnaw at you. You need fuel to keep you excited and motivated for what is to come. Your goal does not necessarily have to be world-changing; it can be as small as eating healthier, exercising more, or reducing screen time. As long as it is a goal that will help you form a better version of yourself, it is a purpose worth pursuing.
The Practice of Personal Integrity
The sixth pillar in the 6 pillars of self-esteem is personal integrity. Through this practice, you learn that you must remain authentic. You are your own person and must remain loyal to your core values. Undoubtedly, you will grow and learn more, and certain opinions and beliefs might change over time, but your values must remain defining to your character.
If you give up on your values, you will be giving a part of yourself away, and you will continue living while feeling that you are lacking a valuable part of your identity. In every step you take, you must stick to your morals, because if you lose your respect for yourself, no amount of praise and respect from others will ever be able to elevate your self-esteem.
Final Thoughts
Everyone wants to have high self-esteem, but not everyone is patient enough to build it. It is a conscious choice, and it is not an outcome of an overnight effort. It requires consistency, self-discipline, and studious effort to be the person you want to be. There is always more to learn about yourself and the world you’re part of, instead of being intimidated by this and allowing it to make you feel less about yourself, embrace it and let it fuel you to make more of yourself.
Disclaimer: This article is intended simply to provide information. It does not replace the medical advice of a physician. Please speak with your doctor if you have any questions or concerns.
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