The Menendez Brothers Marriages: People Who Love Men Behind Bars

Sarah Boone

The Menendez Brothers are currently serving out life sentences in the Richard J. Donovan Correctional Facility. They were sentenced for the murder of their parents, Jose and Kitty Menendez, in July 1996. Lyle and Erik were 21 and 18 years old at the time of their parent’s murder. Now, they are 56 and 53 years old. They have yet to lose hope of being released and being able to live their lives. They have people on the outside waiting for them to get out, including their wives. Lyle Menendez is married to Rebecca Sneed, and Erik Menendez is married to Tammi Saccoman. The two couples have been married for over 20 years, even with the Menendez Brothers behind bars.

The Menendez Brothers’ Lives in Prison

The Menendez Brothers have not wasted time while incarcerated. Instead, they have used this time to improve themselves and discover new interests. They have not been troublemakers either. Erik has only incurred two rule violations, while Lyle has none. Due to their good behavior, they are considered Group A prisoners. The Menendez Brothers live in a “non-designated programming facility” at Donovan Correctional. It is known as the Echo Yard Unit. In this unit, prisoners have more freedom and can explore more rehabilitative and educational programming. 

Erik Menendez formed an interest in meditation and worked with terminally ill prisoners. He has also led religion classes and took up painting. The Menendez Brothers worked together to paint a mural on the Echo Yard walls. They have also offered support to fellow inmates who experienced sexual abuse during childhood. Through all their efforts, they earned Group A status. With their status, they receive more privileges than any other inmate. They are allowed frequent visitors and phone calls to their family outside. At the beginning of 2023, phone calls became free to inmates and their families. That same year, they were given tablets to keep up with the news and limited communication through video and text messaging.

Love Behind Bars

The Menendez Brothers were able to find love even with the biggest obstacle. Erik Menendez met Tammi Saccoman in person in 1997. They started as pen pals, writing back and forth before officially meeting. Tammi watched Erik’s first trial and wrote to him out of sympathy. She was married then and had a teenage daughter from a previous relationship. However, her husband committed suicide after it was discovered he had been molesting her daughter. They connected through shared experiences and offered comfort to one another in their letters. In 1999, they married at Folsom State Prison two years after meeting. They have been married for 25 years and never consummated their union. 

Lyle Menendez’s journey to finding love slightly differed from his younger brother’s. He has been married twice since behind bars. His first wife, Anna Eriksson, sent him a letter during the first trial. On the day Lyle was sentenced, they married over the phone. In 2001, Anna filed for divorce and claimed it was due to infidelity. Lyle was allegedly writing to other women throughout their marriage. Two years later, Lyle married his now-current wife, Rebecca Sneed. They had known each other for a decade before getting married in 2003. They have been married for 21 years, and just like Erik, they never consummated their union. 

Final Thoughts

The Menendez Brothers found something quite rare in this world: unconditional love. Even behind bars, they manage to make their marriages work. Tammi Saccoman has been the most vocal to the media about her marriage. She even wrote a book about her relationship titled They Said We’d Never Make It: My Life With Erik Menendez. In an interview with NBC News discussing the book, she said, “It troubles me, but I do know the person that Erik is, and I know his heart, I know his soul, and I do know what happened that night. And I do understand.” 

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