Although it leaves no physical scars, emotional abuse is a growing concern around the world as it affects people’s health and safety. Those who engage in this type of abuse tend to be controlling, manipulative, derogatory, and punishing to their victims. Even if an individual is aware of what emotional abuse looks like, they can still overlook these indicators due to their subtleness. Moreover, being in an abusive relationship may make someone unaware that they’re actually in one.
Behavior Patterns of Emotional Abuse
Typically, an abuser uses emotional abuse tactics to either isolate, control or frighten their victims. Despite a lack of physical violence, an abuser is likely to threaten harm to their victims or their loved ones to make them fear leaving. Furthermore, an abuser’s actions, words, and the persistence of these behaviors only strengthen the emotional abuse. What’s more? Their abuse gradually builds over time and often repeats in a cycle to keep someone second-guessing their own thoughts and behaviors.
Regardless of one’s gender or age, anyone can inflict or experience emotional abuse. Contrary to popular belief, emotional abuse doesn’t thrive solely in romantic relationships. In fact, any relationship whether personal or professional can become toxic and abusive. Mainly, an abuser can be one’s partner, spouse, friend, parent, caretaker, business partner, and even one’s adult child.
Common Tactics of Emotional Abuse
An abuser inflicting emotional abuse may rely on various tactics to tear down someone’s self-esteem. For instance, they may resort to name-calling or disguise their insults with endearing terms to give an individual a false sense of security. More than that, they may turn to victim blaming or partake in character assassination to accuse them of bad behavior or constant mistakes.
What’s more? An abuser may engage in behaviors to intimidate someone such as swearing and yelling to get their way. Not only that but they may even throw or hit things to make their victims feel worthless. Other ways for someone to be emotionally abusive is by being patronizing or dismissive of someone else’s feelings or concerns. The abuser may use jokes to hide their emotional abuse to downplay a person’s appearance, interests, or accomplishments, which is done to make them feel inferior. After identifying someone’s insecurities or anxieties, an abuser may constantly push their buttons to make them uncomfortable.
Manipulation, Gaslighting, Blackmail
Indeed, those who desire control and power are more likely to engage in emotionally abusive behavior. They may develop manipulative tactics with their emotional abuse such as making vague or implied threats to instill fear in their victims. Likewise, they may try monitoring one’s whereabouts and wanting immediate responses to every call or text. Comparatively, they could spy on their victims digitally by demanding all their passwords.
Another emotional abuse tactic they may try is gaslighting to make their victims question their memory or mental health. For their gaslighting to work, an abuser may deny past events or a person’s concerns to make them doubt their own thoughts and feelings. Due to gaslighting, an abuser will make decisions for their victims without their consent. Certain decisions an abuser can make for someone may include their financial management, what they wear, and even who can be their friends.
Emotional abuse also involves blackmail or guilt-tripping to manipulate someone’s feelings to get them to comply. This emotional blackmail makes an abuser constantly lecture someone for their every mistake, no matter how big or small, to make them feel incompetent. Due to their controlling nature, they may expect or demand obedience to every direct order they give. If someone fails to follow their orders, they may have angry outbursts, keeping their victims on edge. Ultimately, emotional abuse weaponizes one’s unpredictable or frequent mood swings to keep their victims uncertain of their behavior.
Abusive Narcissism
By establishing a hierarchy, an abuser places themselves at the top to be above others, especially their victims. This behavior may lead the abuser to become jealous and accuse their victims of flirting or cheating without evidence. They may even question the love given to them in the relationship, wanting their victims to spend all their time with them.
Using guilt as a tool of emotional abuse, they can manipulate someone into following their demands by making them believe it’s owed. An abuser may have high expectations of their victims, insisting they prioritize their wants and needs over their friends and family. Along with guilt, an abuser may goad or blame their victims by purposefully upsetting them just to blame them for being too sensitive. Confronting an abuser about their behavior may lead them to deny the emotional abuse and accuse the victim instead of being angry and controlling.
Neglect and Dehumanization
By wanting their wants and needs to be prioritized over their victims, an abuser may push them to neglect everything important to them. For instance, one common tactic of emotional abuse is isolation where they try to force the victim to turn away from their loved ones to be with them.
Additionally, they can dehumanize their victims by ignoring their thoughts and opinions, and drive them away from socializing with others. Usually, they’re able to stop their victims from hanging out with friends and family by creating distractions or outright begging them to stay home regardless of plans.
In some cases, an abuser may attempt to turn others against their victims by spreading lies about them. They may claim that their victims are dishonest or unstable to get others to question them as well. Even when victims seek emotional support, the abuser may refuse to help them by calling them weak or dismissing their feelings entirely.
Final Thoughts
Once someone realizes they’re a victim of emotional abuse, ensure that they have a good support system around them. Leaving a toxic or abusive relationship can be challenging especially if they feel like their lives or their loved ones can be in danger. It’s important these individuals know that the emotional abuse they experience isn’t their fault or it’s their job to “fix” their abusers. Ultimately, no one is required to stay in a relationship that doesn’t do any good for them.
Disclaimer: This article is intended simply to provide information. It does not replace the medical advice of a physician or other medical professional. Please speak with your doctor or therapist if you have any questions or concerns.
